her vagine was all disorganized.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I pour the whiskey from now on
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
