I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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