In the future we'll all be gay
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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