You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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