We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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