i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
