omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
