I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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