Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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