Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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