I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
