we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
