Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
