I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
