Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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