I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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