i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
