i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
