You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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