dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
