I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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