We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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