OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
