So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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