Whod you bang
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
