Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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