I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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