sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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