everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
