Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
