I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
