Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
