Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to summon your inner elephant
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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