I smell stomach acid.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
