the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
