kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
