In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
