my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dick very happy bro
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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