you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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