I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
