He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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