she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
