watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
