You can't motorboat a personality
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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