He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
