My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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