I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
