i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
