S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
