Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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