I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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