a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
