so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
