Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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