I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
