Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
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not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
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I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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