i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
