Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
this just has baby written all over it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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