hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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