apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
