i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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